Generally, when a couple breaks up, the suggestion is that the two people abstain from contact at least until healing occurs. That means going as far as unfriending on social media, deleting the connection from the mobile, and blocking the ability of that person to reach out in any way. It also involves avoiding physical locations that were frequented as a couple.
Parting ways can be tough even for the person who chooses to end the partnership. And some people are just unwilling to let go, whether they called things off or not.
You’ll find these individuals making misguided attempts to reach out to their former mate, currently in the middle of the healing process, in an effort to get a jealous reaction.
Instead, it leaves this partner confused and wondering why an ex would need to try to make them jealous when each person is making strides to move on with their life in a healthy way. What does this contact really mean, and how should someone respond to an ex reaching out like this? Let’s learn.
What’s the meaning if an ex reaches out with the premise of making you jealous
If you’re suddenly receiving texts from an ex from whom you’ve been gaining ground on healing the breakup, and the only goal appears to be making you jealous, you have to read between the lines.
That’s probably something you needed to do when you were a couple as well; they’re maybe not so good at being straightforward with intention. The idea when separating from a partnership is that ties are cut with no contact from that moment on for the health and well-being of each person.
Not only is it harmful to disrupt a former partner’s healing process, but it’s disrespectful for the one who called an end to the relationship to then reach back out in an effort to show off a different lifestyle and perhaps a new love interest.
If a former mate is genuinely happy in their new life or with a new partner, the last thing on their mind would be getting someone else jealous over it, especially the person they dated previously. So, what’s really happening? Let’s look at authentic meanings for an ex to reach out and behave in such an odd way and some guidance on how you can respond.
Remorse is a tough pill to swallow
When a partnership comes to an end, each person experiences a great deal of emotion regardless of who is responsible for that ending. There is a mixed bag of pain and suffering on both sides because, genuinely, no one wants to see a relationship where you invest significant time, energy, and emotion go sour.
Still, there is often much regret felt by the individual who called an end to the union. In many cases, this person wants to, in some way, make amends for the hurt they caused.
Instead of being forthright and apologizing, most individuals will inflate their personal life stories, hoping to lead the other person to share similar positive news about their life. Hence, there’s no longer a need to feel guilty.
In fact, it makes the mate question why they’re getting texts from an ex and what the motive is for trying to make them jealous.
The perfect way to let this remorseful individual off the hook and get them out of your life is to let them know you have confidence in your healing process, are thrilled with the changes occurring in your life, and there’s no need for the two of you to be in contact in the future.
Seeking validation in your response
There are times when a breakup occurs, and the person causing the separation isn’t secure in their decision. As time passes, they become more unsure if they did the right thing.
As a source of validation, some will reach out to their previous mate with the excuse that they didn’t like how things were left because it should have been a more confident choice.
In a “fishing expedition,” the ex will comment how glad they are that the partnership is over and they were able to progress to such a good point in their life, hoping that the mate will agree, thus receiving the validation they are so desperately searching for.
The only way to respond to such a callous person is to apologize to hear how they feel about those wasted moments and be hopeful that they feel awesome about how life is treating them now.
A support system that still offers help
One of the toughest situations to contend with is when an ex reaches out with the pretense that they want to share how great they’re doing after the breakup. Perhaps in this scenario, you were the one who didn’t believe the two of you were necessarily the right fit.
It can leave you a bit baffled why an ex would call just to let you know they’re great until the truth begins to unfold. The reason for the split was due to the mate being a bit needier than you’re used to.
With this call, the ex expresses how they’re facing challenges in dealing with the healing process. You were this mate’s only source of support. Family and friends seemed to be a bit judgmental and doled out opinions when approached with difficult situations.
This could be a bit tricky but knowing someone has somewhat low self-esteem, you can’t just let them suffer alone and in silence. All the person needs is a conversation, an ear, someone who will listen and guide them toward positivity. Breakups are complicated, and healing can be difficult.
If you can help someone you were once intimately close with, why would you not do that?
Jealousy is a two-way street
When you get a text from an ex who’s questioning why a friend of a friend saw you at a particular venue or event, questioning your loyalty to other friends and perhaps family members with whom you should have been interacting at the time, it begs the question why the individual is stalking you, to begin with.
In the ex’s flagrant attempts to make you jealous with stories of how great life is for them, the individual is displaying some unwarranted possessive qualities plus undeniable jealousy that doesn’t make sense considering their life is fantastic and fulfilling.
Often, it’s not necessarily that the “lothario” is interested in getting back with you in these situations. This is one of those situations where an ex is not interested in having their previous mate as their own, but they also don’t want anyone else to have them either.
In circumstances like these, it’s essential to address the claims of being out with other people as true and embellish as much as possible to ensure adequate jealousy happens in the ex’s corner of the world.
What if they miss you
An ex might be portraying this lavish and exciting lifestyle since you’ve broken up to get a jealous reaction from you in hopes that you’ll beg them back because they actually miss you.
If you receive one or two texts that you courteously respond to and then go on about life only to see roughly five or six the next week plus receive a mobile call, it begins to get curious.
Increasingly things grow weirder as you go out and run into your ex at locations where they’ve never traveled before, even areas that are well out of their way. It becomes evident that this person has not moved on; instead, they’re hugely incorporating themselves into your life again.
It will be challenging to do, but the only thing that can be done is to officially break up again, even if you weren’t the one to end the relationship the first time. While the ex is obviously regretting the decision, missing what you had together, and hoping to rekindle the flame, it’s typically not likely that you can go back once you heal and move on.
That’s how it needs to be explained to the ex so they can go through their grieving process.
Usually, there are ulterior motives when an ex is contacting you with the pretense of making you jealous or attempting to gain a reaction from you about the excellent condition of their current circumstances.
No one needs to let a previous mate in on what’s happening in their current situation, nor does a mate genuinely care.
The partner needs to figure out the real meaning behind the contact in order to respond accordingly. You don’t want to hurt someone if they’re reaching out because of missing you or feeling bad for what happened. But in that same vein, time passes, healing occurs, and everyone needs to move on, standing by the decisions they make.
It’s essential to be firm in your conviction if you no longer want to hear from this person. If you still hold feelings, set boundaries and be intentional so that there are no misunderstandings. You don’t want to grieve over the same person twice.