It’s difficult to merely walk away when you’re invested in a relationship despite the notion that your boyfriend could possibly have another girlfriend, which is speculative.
Depending on the quality of time you spend together and whether that has diminished over the course of his being with another woman could help you determine where things stand.
You should pay attention to odd behavior, watch for anything out of the ordinary, and be mindful of being unavailable more often than usual.
If the new person has already evolved into an affair, it puts things into a whole new perspective, whether the guy is confused over who he wants to maintain a relationship with or not.
He doesn’t get to have that say when he betrays someone; that’s left up to his first girlfriend and if she deems the partnership salvageable and the man worth the effort.
Another girl disturbing your relationship?
It’s exceptionally unusual when you genuinely love someone and deeply care for them to step outside of that or see anyone else as more appealing.
When a guy does meet someone that trumps the feelings he has for a current girlfriend, there’s already a problem in the partnership whether his lady wants to fully admit that or not.
In some way, this man is feeling unsatisfied, or needs are not being met in order to feel an attraction or develop any sort of feelings for someone else.
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to control your emotions in these circumstances. It’s not excusing the behavior because it takes two to make a partnership successful and two for it to flounder.
If he was struggling with issues, the way to solve those is with open, vulnerable, and honest conversation in order to make his partnership stronger and more healthy instead of sabotaging it.
As the girlfriend in this situation, that needs to be the consideration. When there was a rough patch, her boyfriend strayed instead of talking through the problem.
Will that always happen; is that what the future looks like as his mate? Does she want to continue down this path or maintain her self-esteem and find a more healthy partnership?
Let’s find out a few tips on what you should do in a situation where a boyfriend chooses the other girlfriend.
7 things to do if your BF chooses his other girl over you
If you decide to try to make things work with a boyfriend who got another girlfriend during your relationship, it’s important to make sure he lets go of his crush before attempting to start fresh with him.
The problem is not following through on where things are with the other woman in the partnership could develop further, eventually resulting in the mate choosing the new love as his significant other over what he had with you.
While that leaves you feeling demeaned and devastated, it was a possibility to be considered from the beginning. Now, it’s a matter of discerning what to do from this point. Let’s look at a few tips on how to handle the circumstances.
1. Acceptance
You might find yourself disbelieving that your partner would have chosen another woman over you and attempting to figure out the reasons his feelings are stronger for this person than they were for you. Still, the answers are his alone, and they will never be available to you.
The only possible solution is to be accepting of the outcome and find a way to progress forward with the understanding that you are better for it. There’s genuinely no one to blame in a situation like this.
It’s a circumstance where there was a feeling of incompatibility. At some point, you will find that was an accurate deduction.
2. Stages of heartbreak
When you lose someone, especially to another person, there will be heartbreak; feelings of loss. These come in stages, almost like a death. It would be best to allow yourself to experience the emotions and not internalize as though nothing happened.
This is what will allow you to heal from the inside out. You can then get back into a routine and prepare for a healthy romance.
3. Don’t rebound
When your boyfriend has another girlfriend and chooses to be with her over you, you don’t want to rush out and jump into another partnership in an effort to get back at him.
The two of them have already moved on with their lives and aren’t genuinely concerned with how you live yours. But for you to involve someone else with the very likely potential for hurting that person since you’re seeing the individual under false pretenses is unfair.
It’s essential to wait out the healing process so you can present as someone genuinely looking for a healthy, happy relationship.
4. Support system
Sometimes close friends and family work as a support system. But, in other situations, they offer a bit too much judgment, especially when it comes to a boyfriend having another girlfriend. Still, then when he chooses her over you, this support system can turn ugly. It’s better to speak with people who won’t pass judgment or attempt to retaliate.
Of course, some counselors offer individual sessions to guide people through tough breakups and provide information on different support groups of peers that have experienced similar circumstances where you can speak in a non-judgmental atmosphere.
These make an impartial support system much more beneficial when dealing with something so sensitive.
5. No comparisons
While it will be difficult, it’s essential to avoid making comparisons between the other woman and yourself. Anyone would take a significant loss to their self-esteem in a situation where a boyfriend chose another girl over them, but that doesn’t make the other woman better in any way.
It simply means the two of them found a greater sense of compatibility. Nothing is saying that your ex and this woman will stay together as a couple forever. The partnership could be short-lived. Sometimes people try something that ultimately doesn’t fit. That’s like using dating sites, exchanging emails, and messages for a couple of days, then, finding another one.
6. Take time
Anyone who generally breaks up with a mate expresses the time they spent on their own as some of the best moments of freedom. While it is a time of loss and healing, it’s also exceptionally liberating to be able to do as you want when you want.
That can include the potential for meeting up with old friends you lost contact with while in a long-term relationship, finding new friends, picking up new interests or hobbies, taking classes, and on.
The time will go faster than you believe, so while you experience your grief process, try to enjoy those precious moments of being alone and getting to know who you are.
7. No connecting
Avoid contact with your boyfriend and his other girlfriend. That is one of the stages for healing. Block all numbers, get rid of every picture, take him out of your social media, and avoid places that you used to frequent together.
If you notice him or them coming in your direction on the street, turn and go a different way.
This approach helps you to forget and move forward. If there are constant reminders, people tend to dwell on “what was” and can’t progress into the “what could be.”
That can lead to comparing any future dates to your ex and finding reasons why they don’t add up. An unhealthy pattern that can leave you alone and sad.
Is there forgiveness for him choosing the other GF?
Forgiveness is a crucial component of the healing process. It’s often misunderstood, with many people believing they can’t possibly forgive another person for the wrong that they do to them.
Forgiveness is not something you necessarily give to the other person. It’s something that you gift to yourself.
With the act, you are releasing the other person from the hurt they caused you and not allowing them to have that power over you anymore. Doing so frees you from having resentment towards that person, helps you let go of the anger, and allows you to move forward.
The benefit of forgiveness is to the person who does the forgiving, not the one you’ve forgiven. Unfortunately, in many cases, when you express forgiveness, people take the gesture in a blase way.
This is one of the last stages in the loss process and the most important when you let go of the guy who had another woman when he saw you. It’s not something you share with him; it can be a letter you write and burn or something you tell a counselor as long as you experience it.
Conclusion
The primary thing to remember when you experience a betrayal is you can’t blame yourself. While each person might have made some missteps in the partnership, as everyone does in relationships, there’s no fault when something doesn’t work out.
It’s just not meant to be because there’s something healthier and more solid waiting. Trust and believe.
